I just read this, that the measure of a good life is how much you want to change it. So in addition to contemplating the loss of something or someone you value, you can also think about the things you want and what real impact they’ll have based on past experience. That’s the key - pay attention to what happened last time you got what you wanted. Surprisingly unsatisfying, unless of course it involved a lot of hard work, in which case the work itself was probably pretty satisfying too.