So many thoughts, so little time. First, apologies for my highlights ruining the flow of your piece, but I couldn’t resist and I would have graffitied it much worse if I was allowed to highlight captions (wtf medium?)

The subtitle “knit a bigger boat” and “back to the fabric store” lines are among the funniest sentences I’ve ever read. I’m talking Missing Missy level here (27b/6 Google it). My new favourite internet thing to send to people when they complain I have no sense of humor.

The second half after I thought you were done with flogging that thing. Just like a horror movie! I started to worry, how much more of this is there? I can’t sit in the bathroom all day!

And finally…

😂😆🤣